Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Adventures of The Little Fanny Pack

From a Facebook post, 3/23/2015:

This is a story about a little black and white Sierra Designs fanny pack. It is a sad story. I recommend you get the tissues out. You see, The Little Fanny Pack lived happily for years next to its owner's desk. It didn't get in the way and it didn't bother anyone. It served faithfully to carry water bottles, fishing license, and concealed carry handguns when needed. All was well and right in the world. Then, one day, The Lady of The House decided to put The Little Fanny Pack "where it belonged". After awhile The Little Fanny Pack's owner went looking for it. But it was nowhere to be found. And The Lady of The House could not remember The Little Fanny Pack, let alone where she put The Little Fanny Pack. The owner of The Little Fanny Pack spent hours searching high and low for his trusty friend, even enlisting the aid of his son and offering a reward. Alas! Somewhere, in some dark, lonely corner of the evil, unfriendly world, The Little Fanny Pack remains lost, alone, and forsaken. Its owner mourns for the lost Little Fanny Pack. The night darkens and the sun's heat loses out to the dark as we bring this little tale to an end.

If you see a little black fanny pack, please... drive him home.

Mick's looking for his little red rooster.  




Late last night, as I tossed and turned in bed, a vision came to me. Leaping from the covers (in my flannel PJ's, I should add, as I've to come to like sleeping warm w/ fewer covers as opposed to light with more covers, but maybe this is TMI....) I raced to the location. Gearing up with gloves and lights and a safety rope, I plunged into the depths of The Gun Closet and there, nearly suffocated beneath the weight of piles and piles of Predator Camo, shoved ignominiously into a corner of The Hunting Clothes Duffle Bag, was The Little Fanny Pack.

I wept, shouted for joy, and then returned the The Little Fanny Pack to it's rightful place next to my desk with Firm Instructions to The Lady of The House to never touch The Little Fanny Pack again. She casually pointed out that she never goes into The Gun Closet, let alone The Hunting Clothes Duffle Bag, therefore it is unlikely that She put The Little Fanny Pack there. No!!! Say it's not true! It was not I who put The Little Fanny Pack there! No!!! Oh, the horror!

Oddly, I see that The Little Fanny Pack is actually a "High Sierra" and not a "Sierra Designs". Hmmmm....

In any case, the sun shines and the world is right again. Thank you for your concern, thoughts, prayers, good vibes, and generous offers of large amounts of cash as I went through this difficult time.

The Little Fanny Pack, safe again

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